The Viscount Who Loved Me

Anthony's story

The Prologue kicks in and we are dumped straight into the middle of Anthony’s childhood trauma: his father’s untimely death at the hands sting of a fatal bee when Anthony was 18. Anthony, you may recall, is the oldest son of the Bridgertons. If you didn’t recall, that’s okay – you can always figure out the birth order of any Bridgerton offspring by their name; A for Anthony, who is number 1. Also, not coincidentally, he is the new Viscount Bridgerton and head of the family. This is important because Anthony has all kinds of baggage associated with the death of this father. The biggest chunk of that baggage? Anthony is convinced that he, too, will die when he reaches the same age that his father was when he died (38). The next biggest chunk? Complicated feelings about his responsibilities to his family, specifically being thrust at a relatively young age into the role of replacement daddy to his innumerable siblings. Anthony is majorly overbearing to compensate, which gets very irritating very fast, and I’m not even one of his female relatives. Parentification, bad; therapy, good. Too bad we are still in the 1800s when people were left to their own, untherapied devices. We are about to see how well this plays out.

FAST FORWARD A DOZEN YEARS

We meet Kate and Edwina Sheffield, who are embarking upon their first – and only – season. They don’t have money, you see, for each girl to have her own season so they’re doubling up. Kate is almost 21 and considers herself nearly “on the shelf” aka too old to marry. Damn, I think I have underwear that’s older than that. Edwina is four years younger and the acknowledged beauty of the family. Kate doesn’t especially enjoy being known as The Beauty’s Sister, but she loves Edwina and isn’t jealous of her in the slightest. It’s very sweet. Did I mention they are half-sisters? Kate’s mother died when she was 4, and her father remarried; her stepmother, Mary, loves Kate like her own child. This is a relief, tbh, because evil stepmothers and bitchy stepsisters are such a cliché, you know? Ooh wait, is that foreshadowing for something that may or may not happen later in this series? Not telling. You’ll just have to wait and see.  

I really enjoyed the dynamic of the Sheffield sisters and they reminded me a lot of Kat and Bianca from 10 Things I Hate About You. Kate is determined that Edwina will find a suitable husband, preferably a rich one of whom Kate approves. Bossy pants alert! But! He must also be kind, loving, and in all other respects acceptable to Edwina herself. That’s a bit of tall order and not just in 1815, according to some of my single friends. Not to mentioned, Kate may have her work cut out for her, because Edwina drops a little intelligence on her sister: she would prefer to marry a scholar. She might be the season’s anointed “Hot Girl” but she’s also a bookworm who prefers to live quietly in the countryside with her smart husband and her books (and cats? I am sure there would be cats). Edwina is the coolest person in this book so far. Meanwhile Kate’s, like, “aww that’s cute, but let’s make sure it’s a rich scholar, mkay?” She just wants the best for Edwina but, damn girl, you really need to mind your own beeswax.

The girls are catching up on Lady Whistledown’s latest gossip column – think the Gossip Girl of Regency-era London – which just happens to be about a certain someone you might know. That’s right, the eminently eligible and heretofore determinedly single Viscount Bridgerton. He’s a bit of a rake, apparently. Between you and me, I get the sense that Anthony is no Michael Stirling when it comes to the ladies; he’s too much of a stuffed shirt. I said what I said. Nevertheless, society has him down as a rake, which Kate is convinced means a harem of mistresses. In other words, he’s a terrible prospect as a husband for Edwina. Edwina is not equally convinced. She might be looking for a scholar, but she’s not entirely averse to bad boys. Edwina is a girl after my own heart.

Oh, before I forget: there is a dog. The dog is called Newton. This will be relevant later.

Anthony, Benedict and Colin are shooting the sh*t at their gentlemen’s club, White’s. Anthony also has some intelligence to drop on his brothers: he has decided to get married. Benedict falls off his chair (literally) and Colin chokes (also literally) in surprise. Luckily, Benedict is quick-witted and gives his brother a well-aimed slap on the back. We do not lose Colin to a fatal olive, hallelujah. Anthony wants to get married in order to secure the Viscountly succession, but he has decided to be all business about it; he’s going to marry some well-bred, attractive, and intelligent young lady, but not someone he’s going to fall in love with. Because he’s going to die young, remember and, under those circumstances, falling in love would suck … for him. Ok, Anthony. I guess marrying someone and impregnating them while fully believing (but not disclosing to anyone) that your family will be left without a husband and father at an early age – something that was DEEPLY TRAUMATISING TO YOU AND YOUR MOM – is acceptable. Alrighty then. This is the plot device we are stuck with. [Serious aside for a moment: Quinn handles trauma with a sensitive touch in this book, so no snark on that.] Anthony enquires about the “hottest property” on the marriage market and is informed that her name is Edwina Sheffield. He decides to investigate further.

At the next ball, Anthony and Edwina are dancing, much to Kate’s chagrin. Mary is pleased with this development, also to Kate’s chagrin. Kate, you need to let people live a little, babe. She meets Colin, who proceeds to charm her, despite her initial resistance, like he does everyone. Oh, Colin! Being the clever boy that he is, he also quickly twigs to the fact that she’s no meek pushover, so he can’t wait to introduce her to Anthony, grab his popcorn, and sit back. Colin is a Marie Kondo fan like me; we love mess. Anyway, he intercepts Anthony coming off the dancefloor and Anthony informs him that Edwina “will do”. Anthony – such a charmer. Colin maneuvers him towards Kate telling him that Anthony must win her over in order to propose to Edwina and, oh by the way, it shouldn’t be a problem at all, she’s a very retiring young lady. NOT! Hah! Colin 1, Anthony 0.

Upon introduction, Kate is quick to disabuse Anthony of any illusions of an easy victory. Naturally, Anthony is all the more determined to press his suit. They share a few rounds of verbal sparring, Kate treads on his toes a few times while they dance, and I honestly don’t believe that anyone looking at them isn’t already laying bets about how long it will take for these two to bang. Colin knows what’s up, I’m sure. Anyway, battles lines are drawn: Kate won’t let Anthony marry Edwina, Anthony won’t let Kate stop him. Edwina is off somewhere, having fun.

The next day, Anthony turns up unannounced at the Sheffields’ house. Joke’s on him; Mary and Edwina are out. Great – more opportunities for verbal sparring with the elder Miss Sheffield. Mary returns home before they come to real blows but, inconveniently, she is alone: Edwina is out walking with an admirer. Somehow or other, Anthony and Kate decide to take the dog for a walk and meet up with Edwina. Remember the dog? It’s about to become important. As they go for their walk, Anthony is starting to get some funny feelings in his tummy about Kate. Or am I thinking of another body part? Naughty, naughty. There is some bonnet fiddling – not a euphemism – and Kate gets the butterflies too. Honestly, these two with their “bossy oldest sibling” syndrome are made for each other; trying to boss each other around will keep them occupied for years, and out of everyone else’s hair. Just at that moment, the dog decides to take the plot into its own hands. He runs off. Kate and Anthony give chase and I will spare you the details but it all comes to a climax (not the good kind) when the dog runs smack dab into Edwina and pushes her into The Serpentine, a body of water. Anthony is the only one who thinks on his feet and manages to fish her out of the water. He is furious but you and I know it’s got less to do with Edwina’s discomfort and more to do with that pent-up sexual tension he’s bottling up. He takes Edwina home in a carriage, and Kate is left to deal with Edwina’s boring, slow-reflexed, non-scholarly suitor. Rude.

At home later, the girls debrief. Kate seems more interested in whether Anthony mentioned her during the carriage ride than the fact that he was a gentleman and didn’t try any funny business with Edwina. Girlie … remember how your goal is to thwart his marriage to your sister, and not getting into his pants? Focus! Allllllthough, come to think of it, I suppose one way to thwart the marriage is by getting into his pants, so okay, something to explore. However, Kate is still in Denial Territory so this option is off the table, thanks for nothing.

Edwina predictably comes down with a fever – everyone comes down with a fever whenever they get the least bit wet in romance novels, it’s a law of nature (just like my grandma always said!) – and misses the next big social event, an opera evening at the Bridgerton house. Kate goes, thereby affording Anthony a chance to creep on her from an upstairs window while she’s disembarking from her carriage. He lets us know that he can’t stop dreaming about her, gosh darn it. Even though she’s not really that pretty – charming! – he’s quite horny for her. Which can only mean that, yes, he must avoid her at all costs. Luckily, the opera singer is at hand to distract him. You haven’t forgotten that Anthony is a rake, have you? There is some previous history here, and Anthony’s, like, perfect – a little action to take the edge off. He sneaks the opera singer into his study but, wouldn’t you know it, Kate’s already there. Hiding under the desk because that’s what you do when you’re caught snooping in a stranger’s house. Before things get too hot ‘n heavy with the opera singer, Anthony recognizes Kate’s scent and spots her under the desk. He quickly ushers the singer out and locks the door, but not before Kate has – inexplicably! – bitten his leg. Why? Truly, your guess is as good as mine. They start to argue (and not about the leg biting which would be the place to start, imo) but it’s only a prelude to what we all knew would be happening next. They kiss. It’s one of those “he overcomes her maidenly reluctance with sheer force of personality but there is definitely consent in the end, guys, don’t worry” moments. Not great, not terrible. A few lines in, they’re both into it so we can relax and enjoy the steaminess.

Afterwards, we are right back to the irrational hostility with these two. Anthony reaffirms his intent to marry Edwina which is a d*ck move, considering he just kissed her sister (and imagined doing a LOT more). Kate is infuriated, as she has every right to be, and demands to leave. Anthony pulls d*ck move #2 and throws the door key at her feet instead of handing it to her like a normal person. She storms out. He feels bad about being a d*ck but, ugh, these 2 are kind of exhausting. And we are not even half-way through the book.

A week later, Anthony’s mom is throwing a big ol’ country house party at Aubrey Hall, the Bridgertons’ ancestral estate in Kent. The Sheffields are invited, of course, because Edwina is still marriage prospect #1 for Anthony as far as his family is aware. Edwina doesn’t seem especially interested in this idea but she’s, like, I am keeping my options open. Smart girl. That being said, we know Edwina’s chances of being Viscountess Bridgerton are about as good as mine. Anthony and Kate run into each other, because of course they do, despite their individual efforts to avoid further encounters. Less-than-half-assed efforts, you say? Hush. They are about to kiss again – efforts, shmefforts! – when Colin arrives to c*ckblock the action. This is very unlike Colin, I must say. He’s there to invite Kate to a Bridgerton family game of Pall Mall.

You might be curious about this plot development, but trust me, you shouldn’t be. I am doing you a favour by condensing this (interminable!) portion of the story to a bare minimum. All you need to know is that Pall Mall is similar to croquet and the Bridgertons are VERY competitive players. Daphne and her duke (sorry, that should have been a SPOILER but Netflix beat me to it anyway) are there and Daphne wants revenge for Anthony knocking her ball into the lake during a past game or something like that, I have already forgotten 95% of the details, sorry not sorry. Sports doesn’t interest me in real life, and even less in books; you must take your book recapper as you find her. Daphne gets her wish, courtesy of (who else) Kate and Anthony ends up with his ball in the lake. No, not that ball(s) – the croquet one. After Anthony calms down a bit (he’s sore loser, are you surprised?), he and Kate have yet another tete-a-tete and they finally make some progress. She reluctantly admits that she doesn’t hate him anymore. I guess knocking his ball about a bit helped with that. They manage not to kiss.

At the pre-dinner soiree, Kate talks to Penelope Featherington and the two of them bond over being wallflowers and the butt of unflattering comments in Lady Whistledown’s gossip column. Regency-era Regina George shows up and is mean to Penelope for no real reason except that people in general seem to enjoy sh*tting on Penelope. Don’t worry; Penelope WILL have the last laugh … but that’s a book for another time. For now, Anthony swoops in and gives Regina George a verbal slapdown, and then he escorts Penelope to dinner – in breach of society protocols, but very much in line with romantic hero protocols. Kate secretly swoons.

Later that night, she’s not able to sleep so she goes down to the library to find a book to read. There is a thunderstorm. As it happens, Kate has a phobia of thunderstorms. The storm rages and she has a panic attack. Anthony happens to stop by – the boy has a finely-tuned radar for Kate’s location at all times – and helps her through it. They end up talking about her fears, the death of their respective parents, grief … you know, light and fluffy stuff. Ok, it’s a really nice moment. There, I said it; allow me to return to my snark now.

The next morning, we are back in the garden again. Kate is ready to tell Anthony that she is withdrawing her objections to his suit of Edwina. Anthony does not enjoy getting what he’s been chasing this whole time. Ain’t that how it always goes. Thing is, he thinks he might be falling in love with Kate. GASP! It’s the worst thing that could happen.

Or … is it?

No. The worst thing is about to happen.

There is … a … bee!!!!! A BEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is such a bizarre scene, I don’t think I am able to help you visualize it. Suffice it to say that Anthony goes into panic mode, much to Kate’s utter consternation, the bee stings Kate, and Anthony proceeds to TRY TO SUCK THE BEE VENOM OUT OF KATE’S TIT.

Friends, I am not making this up.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do we think Julia Quinn enjoyed f*cking with us when writing this scene? 11.5?

As you might expect, a bunch of people walk in at just the right, tit-sucking moment. Long story short, Anthony and Kate are now engaged. Huzzah! Ostensibly, the reason is to avoid Kate being compromised by this incredibly dubious bee incident. Anthony is a man of honour, blah blah blah. But secretly, honour takes a distant second place to horniness. Anthony would very much like to bang Kate, you see. Being married would be super convenient for that. He just mustn’t, absolutely MUST NOT, at any cost, fall in love with her. I foresee absolutely no issues with this plan.  

Later, he makes a special point of laying down the ground rules to Kate. Their marriage will have everything: friendship (with benefits, obvi), respect, fidelity (so much for the whole rake thing, I told you Anthony is too vanilla for that), lotsa babies … in short, everything but love. Kate’s, like … ooooookay? She bites her tongue and doesn’t argue because she’s not in a great negotiating position, what with being a compromised lady and all. Which, for the record, is all Anthony’s fault. Anthony is definitely not the best Bridgerton brother in the room right now, and he’s the only one there. Anyway, he proceeds to give her a nice ring and they make out. Girlie, don’t be blinded by the bling OR the d*ck!

The night before the wedding, Mary tries to give Kate “the talk” but Kate is ahead of her. She knows a thing or two from being on a farm once, and she’s sure she can fill in the rest (no pun intended, I swear!) The only problem is that she’s worried that Anthony still thinks Edwina is more beautiful than her, and might end up fantasizing about her sister while they have sex. Ouch! To give this book its credit, this plot point isn’t allowed to drag out for an unbearably long time. Anthony and Kate get married, have married sex, and blow each other’s minds, like, a lot. Then Kate asks if he’s thinking of Edwina and Anthony is, like, ABSOLUTELY NOT, YOU ARE GORGEOUS, STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY! Ok, Anthony, I forgive you. You are the second best Bridgerton brother. (Mostly because I keep forgetting Benedict exists.)

But we are still not out of the woods yet because, you see, Anthony might enjoy his conjugal relations very much but he’s still determined to avoid falling in love with Kate. His solution is to avoid her all day long, on pretext of unspecified Viscount business, and sex it up all night. Kate is too sex-drunk to think about Anthony’s absences too much. She also has other preoccupations because – surprise! – Edwina has announced that she is in love. With a penniless scholar, no less, bless her heart. Have I mentioned how much I adore Edwina? She’s just out there, bucking conventions and living her best life. Anyway, Anthony decides to play fairy godfather, and give Edwina a dowry. Then he continues his romantic hero hot streak by helping Kate work through her own childhood trauma that’s at the root of the whole thunderstorm phobia. It has to do with Kate’s mother’s death, of course. You would think this might lead Anthony to confront his own dead parent-related issues, but no. Instead, he has another panic attack and decides to run away from home. When Kate acts like a responsible adult and tries to get him to talk to her, he pushes her away until she leaves. Did I mention Kate has realized she loves him? Great.

The next day, Anthony is at his gentlemen’s club, nursing a massive hangover. Colin and Benedict come in and are both, like, what IS UP, bro? Anthony is grumpy bear, but Colin quite sensibly points out that the easiest thing to do is go home to his wife and tell her he loves her. Colin: best Bridgerton brother, always. Anyway, Anthony FINALLY has a lightbulb moment because, dammit, yes, he DOES love Kate. All I am saying is that therapy would have helped him reach this self-realization half a book ago. However, we enjoy our romance novels with a side of unnecessary angst so who is the problem here, hmm? [It’s us, we are the problem.] Anyway, Anthony’s timing sucks as usual. Kate, Edwina and her fiancé are out for a carriage ride, so Anthony is once again off to look for them. Please let there be no dog involved this time! Dog or no dog, if you guessed some would go terrible wrong, gold star for you. There is an accident. Kate is injured, possibly fatally, and trapped inside the carriage.

Ah, yes: the vaguely life-threatening accident/illness as a means of getting an emotionally-repressed protagonist to realize they love the person they’ve been in love with since 5 minutes after they met. A classic! You may think I’m being sarcastic here, but I’m really not. It’s a terrible way to live life, OBVIOUSLY, but as a plot device, I’m a very big fan. I really hope Julia Quinn is, as well. [We are 2 for 2 so far, in case you’re keeping count.]

Obviously, you will have worked out that Kate survives with very minor injuries. Anthony FINALLY opens up about his fears of dying AND tells her he loves her. FIN!

In the epilogue, we have jumped ahead several years; Anthony has just turned 39 and he remains very much alive! Huzzah! He and Kate are happily married with 3 kids and are probably about to make another one because that’s how these Bridgertons roll. I will spare you the second epilogue because it involves yet another game of Pall Mall and it isn’t any more interesting than the first.   

And so, we leave Anthony and Kate to their weirdly competitive games (not judging but I would murder my husband if he spent that much time trying to one-up me constantly) and wish them a long and bee-free marriage. Next week, we will tackle the elephant in the Bridgerton saga: Daphne’s story. Till then, adieu.