When He Was Wicked

Francesca's Story

We start in medias res, as it were: Francesca Bridgerton, 6th child (and third oldest daughter) of the Bridgerton family, is about to celebrate her second anniversary to James, the earl of Kilmartin. Theirs is a happy marriage, following an apparently short courtship which – to the best of my current knowledge of the Bridgerton saga – has not been covered in any previous books. Francesca herself is something of a cypher; in the other books, she is mentioned in passing, conveniently out of the way in Scotland most of the time (for reasons that will become apparent in this story). We don’t know much about her. She’s attractive and witty, like all her siblings, but more reserved. We know this because the books tells us which, and let me get radically honest right off the bat, is a bit of a cop-out. Let me decide she’s funny or barmy or whatever, mkay? Show me and I’ll decide. The problem is that I’m coming into this book with very little feel for the character of Francesca and the first chapter isn’t helping me much.

Okay, back to the action in When He Was Wicked. And the action is … triangularly shaped. There is a third wheel, friends, in the marriage of Francesca and James and his name is Michael Stirling; cousin and best friend to James and (secret) admirer of Francesca. In case you missed the title of the book, let me reveal that Michael is a well-known rake – the Merry Rake, in fact. His rakishness is a convenient cover for his illicit passion for Francesca, his cousin’s wife. Never fear, though: it’s the ethical kind of rakishness; no seducing of virgins and no funny business with married ladies either, not until they’ve popped out the proverbial heir and spare. (The book spells that out in excruciating detail, lest you think I am being weirdly specific). Also, don’t worry about keeping track of this backstory because you will be reminded of these facts over and over again – the rakishness, the illicit passion, the cousin’s wife bit. ‘Tis the whole theme, in fact.

Now, neither James nor Francesca has any idea about Michael’s secret obsession and he’s basically their best friend. In fact, he’s always hanging about at their house which, honestly, seems a bit weird. A) because what newlywed couple wants to have someone constantly underfoot, and B) doesn’t a rake have better things to do than hang out with some boring married couple? This is giving me Love Actually vibes; I bet Michael would have made a creepy video of Francesca at her own wedding if cameras had been a thing back in the 1800s. But, I digress.

So, we are half a dozen pages in and Francesca is teasing Michael about his rakishness and the evident (?) necessity of his finding a wife. It doesn’t sound like this is the first time she’s addressing this topic and he hates it (obvi). I don’t really blame him, it seems kinda intrusive, tbh. Like, BOUNDARIES, Francesca! However, this serves as an opportunity to let the readers know that Michael is the poor, title-less relation (so much for marriage prospects, Frannie!), but also happens to be the heir to the earldom of Kilmartin should something happen to James. Consider this Chekhov’s gun, okay? While Michael and Francesca banter, James just sort of hangs about in the background, being all benevolent husband and what not. At this point, I am not invested in any of these people except maybe Michael and his stoic battles against his own horniness for Francesca.

Then! Francesca wants to go for a walk and browbeats Michael into escorting her (because it’s dark outside, and it’s the 1800s, and blah blah blah). James begs off because he has a headache – no, really – and also someplace else to be later. He’s going to lie down for a bit first. Nothing to worry about, I’m sure. Meanwhile, Francesca and Michael are out for a walk and she takes the opportunity to ask him to tell her “about something wicked … something John would not approve of.” Holy flouting-social-conventions, Francesca! Apparently, this is a game (?) they play, where Michael has to tell her something naughty that he’s done. Let me repeat: BOUNDARIES! They eventually settle for discussing the colour of the hypothetical sheets in which Michael’s hypothetical paramour might be hypothetically awaiting his return. I mean, yeah, sure; isn’t that something we’ve all discussed with our husband’s best friend? Totally cool and normal, nothing to see here.

Eventually, they head back home where Francesca finds her husband in bed. But not in a sexy way. He’s dead, unfortunately. That headache? Yeah, it was no bueno. Exit James, we hardly knew thee.

Francesca and Michael are both devastated. The situation is extra complicated because Michael is now the heir presumptive, but someone needs to ask Francesca if she’s pregnant before the title can officially pass to Michael. Awkward! Turns out, she is. Pregnant, that is. Everyone is, like, yay – there will still be a bit of James in their lives. Except it all goes out the window pretty quick because Francesca has a miscarriage. She goes to Michael looking for consoling – not THAT kind, get your mind out of the gutter for now – but he’s being all weird (because secret illicit passion + guilt = excess baggage) and they have a fight. Michael goes to India and Francesca goes to the Kilmartin ancestral estate in Scotland.

FOUR YEARS LATER

Michael finally comes home and immediately runs into Francesca, who is in London at her ex-husband’s (now Michael’s) house. It’s awkward. He wrote to her from India, she didn’t answer (because she was still mad he left), there is resentment all around. Michael’s still pining for Francesca but he’s weirded out by the idea of stepping into his dead cousin’s bed after basically taking over the rest of his life. In sadder news, he’s also now afflicted with malaria and suffers a relapse while in London. On the plus side, this gives Francesca a chance to nurse him – romance-advancing plot device 101 – and they conspire together to hide his condition from the ton. Don’t ask me why. All this secretiveness works, and the two of them are back to being friends, sort of. Feelings are still smoldering in the background, ok? And Francesca finally gets around to noticing that Michael is, ummm, kind of a total fox. Finally, we’re getting somewhere.

Francesca has decided to get married again, not because she wants a husband (or imagines ever being in love again) but because she wants a baby. This I found quite moving; I imagine it would have been an impossibly difficult situation because, in those days, no husband, no baby. Michael also reluctantly agrees to consider looking for a wife because he’s an earl, and earls need heirs. Everyone needs a baby here. The upshot is that the Bridgertons will throw a ball so both Michael and Francesca can have a look around at their options. The Bridgerton wives and daughters (Kate, Sophie and Eloise — more on them later) take the opportunity to ogle Michael. Francesca is not impressed. She seems mighty possessive over a dude who isn’t her husband. Subtle foreshadowing? Please, it’s a bloody massive semaphore. Despite everyone predicting that Michael will be over-run with damsels looking for their chance to become Countess, it’s actually Francesca who is the big success of the ball. Suddenly, everyone wants to marry her. This does not sit well with Michael, obviously. He says nothing about it, obviously. Instead, we get a reiteration of all the reasons why he simply CANNOT reveal his feelings, under any circumstances, ever. Whatever, Michael, be a martyr.

Then there is an interlude when one of Francesca’s suitors tries to rape her, and Michael intervenes in the nick of time. Blech. Anyway, the scene ends with Michael kissing Francesca who – shock, I think NOT – is more than a little responsive. If you think everything is about to get straightened out, you are mistaken. Like, have you even read a romance novel before?

Francesca is horrified by her own horniness for Michael and runs away to Scotland. Michael mopes around. Colin Deus ex machina Bridgerton finally takes pity on him – and time out of his own busy scheduling falling in love with (SPOILER ALERT) Penelope Featherington – and suggests the obvious: that Michael and Francesca marry each other and be done with it. He even provides Michael the perfect pretext to run to Scotland – bringing Francesca the news of Colin and Penelope’s engagement. Colin: forever the best Bridgerton brother. We will enumerate the ways soon, trust.

Anyway, Michael is finally ready to let go of this dead cousin-related inhibitions and goes to Scotland to woo Francesca. Thus commences the horniest interlude of any Bridgerton novel I have read, whereupon Michael decides to persuade Francesca to marry him by literally sexing her at every opportunity. It works! Francesca realizes that she is just as horny for Michael as he is for her. Sexy times! Baby-making times! Everybody wins, right? Hah! Not so fast, buster. Francesca is still hung up on the dead husband business. Can she truly love someone else? Can it be her own best friend? (Francesca, we did not forget that “tell me something wicked” business, girlie) Colin, once again the hero, comes to the rescue of the plot by marrying Penelope earlier than expected, without bothering to wait for Francesca to return to London. This, combined with (SPOILER ALERT) Eloise’s sudden elopement, pushes Francesca to suddenly accept Michael’s marriage proposal. Something, something, her family forgot about her and this will show them. Whatever works for you, babe. Without much ceremony (literally), they get married.

At this point, we have another Michael-is-sick interlude. I know, but bear with me, we are almost there. If it’s malaria again, it’s bad news; a new attack so close to the previous one might mean he’s about to die. F*CK, NOT THIS AGAIN! Francesca is distraught and not just because, c’mon why does this keep happening to her. She has finally realized that she’s not just horny for Michael’s hot bod, but also, like, loves him and stuff. She has also decided that James would probably have been ok with it and not a moment too soon because I, for one, am tired of feeling bad about a character we met for literally half an hour, a few hundred pages ago. It’s time to move on. Luckily for Francesca and the rest of us, Michael’s mystery illness is not malaria, just a garden variety plot device. Francesca visits James’ grave to tell him that she’s in love with Michael – a la Lady Mary in Downton Abbey -- and then she finally tells Michael himself, hurrah. There is also a weird postscript where, via letter to Michael, James’ mother marvels at how he and Francesca were born for each other (umm, ok) and thanks Michael for letting her son love Francesca first. Call me a cold-hearted b*tch but, gag. James’ mother might be the least believable part of this entire story.  

In the epilogue, our duo have been married for 3 years – nobody has died (yay!) and everyone is as horny as ever. However, as Francesca feared might happen, they are dealing with infertility. This is honestly a super sad plot so I am going to fast forward the recap and tell you that there is a happy ending. [Not having dealt with infertility myself, it’s hard for me to judge how well this whole storyline is handled, so if you are in a similar situation and worried about possible triggering, you might want to skip the epilogue.]

And so ends the steamiest Bridgerton novel in the series. Farewell, Francesca and Michael. May you continue to make things awkward for your poor servants by having sex in random places at all hours forever more.